"How do you know you'll love a child that you've never met?"
We have come across this question while researching adoption. Most websites, blogs and advice on social media regarding adoption will almost always include a post about this topic. And it seems to be the theme of conversation from well meaning family, friends and even perfect strangers. Everyone has their reasons for choosing adoption.
We know it is possible to love a child that we have never met because we have before.
A year and a half ago we were elated to find out that we were expecting our first child. A son. We spent those precious 9 months eagerly awaiting for him to arrive. With sonograms pictures proudly displayed on the fridge and the nursery ready to go, all we could do was wait. But fate had other plans and complications occurred during the last stage of labor. Annie suffered from a rare form of HELLP Syndrome. Her life was in real danger and little Declan couldn't withstand the trauma. We lost our precious baby boy on his due date.
Annie spent several days in a medically induced coma. She woke up to a world that had been forever changed. Her recovery took time. She spent a month regaining her strength through physical and speech therapy and has since made a full recovery.
She carried Declan for 40 weeks. He grew into a shy baby that only wiggled at her or Sean's touch. He was big. 8 lbs. and 22 inches long. He enjoyed kicking his mommy in the ribs, was always calm during a warm camomile bath, had the hiccups on a regular basis and listened to the Beatles every night.
Sean was given the opportunity to hold Declan after he passed. It's in those moments that Sean became a father and he truly understood how very precious and fragile we are. To say hello and goodbye in a single moment changes you forever.
We held a small funeral for our sweet boy. A chance to honor him. We had an outpour of love and support from a family and friends. They came to show their support and respect for Declan's short little life. We are forever grateful to have such beautiful people in our lives. In times like this, you really learn who can be counted on.
Through the loss of Declan we have learned many things:
Life is precious
You will never understand how important each moment is until all you have is a few precious moments.
Our relationship is strong
You don't know how much you can endure until you are forced to endure such loss. And although we have been strong on our own, together we are unfailing.
We are parents because of Declan
In our love for Declan we have become acutely aware of how it feels to have a part of you that is forever missing. Not a day goes by that we do not think of him and how our life would be different had he lived.
But through the tears and sadness we have come to realize that this love for Declan must be shared. He would want that. And so our focus has become adoption. There is a child out there that is searching and waiting of us. And we will find him or her.
Declan will always be our first child. Our son. He will live in our hearts. And he will urge us on as we build our family through adoption.
We know it is possible to love a child that we have never met because we have before.
A year and a half ago we were elated to find out that we were expecting our first child. A son. We spent those precious 9 months eagerly awaiting for him to arrive. With sonograms pictures proudly displayed on the fridge and the nursery ready to go, all we could do was wait. But fate had other plans and complications occurred during the last stage of labor. Annie suffered from a rare form of HELLP Syndrome. Her life was in real danger and little Declan couldn't withstand the trauma. We lost our precious baby boy on his due date.
Annie spent several days in a medically induced coma. She woke up to a world that had been forever changed. Her recovery took time. She spent a month regaining her strength through physical and speech therapy and has since made a full recovery.
She carried Declan for 40 weeks. He grew into a shy baby that only wiggled at her or Sean's touch. He was big. 8 lbs. and 22 inches long. He enjoyed kicking his mommy in the ribs, was always calm during a warm camomile bath, had the hiccups on a regular basis and listened to the Beatles every night.
Sean was given the opportunity to hold Declan after he passed. It's in those moments that Sean became a father and he truly understood how very precious and fragile we are. To say hello and goodbye in a single moment changes you forever.
We held a small funeral for our sweet boy. A chance to honor him. We had an outpour of love and support from a family and friends. They came to show their support and respect for Declan's short little life. We are forever grateful to have such beautiful people in our lives. In times like this, you really learn who can be counted on.
Through the loss of Declan we have learned many things:
Life is precious
You will never understand how important each moment is until all you have is a few precious moments.
Our relationship is strong
You don't know how much you can endure until you are forced to endure such loss. And although we have been strong on our own, together we are unfailing.
We are parents because of Declan
In our love for Declan we have become acutely aware of how it feels to have a part of you that is forever missing. Not a day goes by that we do not think of him and how our life would be different had he lived.
But through the tears and sadness we have come to realize that this love for Declan must be shared. He would want that. And so our focus has become adoption. There is a child out there that is searching and waiting of us. And we will find him or her.
Declan will always be our first child. Our son. He will live in our hearts. And he will urge us on as we build our family through adoption.
Declan Connor
February 27, 2015
Gone Too Soon
Yours was a life that had hardly begun
No time to find your place in the sun
No time to do all you could have done
But we loved you enough for a lifetime.
No time to find your place in the sun
No time to do all you could have done
But we loved you enough for a lifetime.
No time to enjoy the world and its wealth
No time to take life down from the shelf
No time to sing the song of yourself
Though you had enough love for a lifetime.
No time to take life down from the shelf
No time to sing the song of yourself
Though you had enough love for a lifetime.
Those who live long endure sadness and tears
But you'll never suffer the sorrowing years
No betrayal, no anger, no hatred, no fears
Just love, only love, in your lifetime.
But you'll never suffer the sorrowing years
No betrayal, no anger, no hatred, no fears
Just love, only love, in your lifetime.